Identity, identity, blah, blah, blah. When is this not a hot topic? I am just beyond tired of this. When will we stop being critical of ourselves and stop comparing one girl to the next? I’ve tried to figure out what the issue is, because if we all know our beauty is found in God alone, what is so hard for us to change our thinking and behavior? We know the facts, yet we behave and think the same way. Maybe we can blame our sexually saturated culture and maybe we can blame the fact that our culture says we have to look perfect in order for a man to accept us. Maybe it’s the seemingly beautiful and perfectly proportioned girls plastered over the Victoria’s Secret that leave the men struggling for purity, and leave the women’s idea of the looking perfect yet another bar higher. But it’s not reality… it’s a result of the lies that beg us to believe happiness is found in them.
I’m annoyed because in a sexually twisted world, everywhere we turn there is a half-naked girl waiting to be noticed by drooling men, even if it means eating a burger on a commercial. The problem is, it’s got every other girl trying to measure up so they can be noticed too. But here’s where we all went wrong: we started chasing the wrong thing, and it left us empty.
I’m fed up with believing the lies. I’m tired of a generation of girls being fed the lies of insecurity and comparison. I don’t want our generation to grow up and become mothers that feed our daughters this sick and twisted view because we decided to believe it too. Instead of feeding it, we need to starve it. Basically I’m saying we need to do the hard thing and not the easy thing. But how?
1) Cut the comparison. I believe this is one of the hardest battles we as females will fight. Social media, glass windows, movies, and magazines entertain the idea of comparison. But when we fight the battle through praying God’s word, and really trying to not compare, I believe that’s where the true freedom is because we can embrace the life God set out for us. “Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.” – Galatians 6:4 (MSG)
2) Appreciate others’ beauty without envy (it’s completely possible, ladies), because you can know yours is found in God. If he wanted you to have others’ qualities he would have. Walk confidently in God. When we know who God is (by spending time with Him), we begin to know who we are in Him. This, ladies, is called love, and we can’t love others correctly if we don’t know how to love God. “Jesus said, ‘…So love the Lord God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence and energy… Love others as well as you love yourself. There is no other commandment that ranks with these.’” – Mark 12:31 (MSG)
3) Look past the weight you’d like to lose or gain, the eyebrows you want to draw in, the clothes you want to buy, and realize this is earthly stuff. Just stuff. It feels good to look good and you should try to be as healthy as possible, but when that’s all said and done your character is what stays. “Instead, [beauty] should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” – 1 Peter 3:4
4) Transform your thinking, and cut out the thoughts that don’t align with how God sees you. You really can’t just pray away these feelings and still strive to be like the bar that society as set. You have to strive to be like God, and ask Him to make you into the best version of yourself from the inside out. Once you’ve transformed your mind, your actions will follow. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- His good, pleasing, and perfect will.” – Romans 12:2
I don’t want to be a generation of women that repeats the same problem over and over. I’m so tired of battling this, and I’m tired of feeding the beast. But if we want this change in ourselves, we have to make that change. And when you mess up and have a meltdown in front of your closet, in the words of Tay Tay, shake it off.
“Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.” – Galatians 5:25-26 (MSG)